She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
