idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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