Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
