Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Randomize
