so that wasnt chicken after all
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
