Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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