if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
