When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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