A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
