One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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