I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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