my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
