I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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