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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  family traditions my good sir

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She's not answering my calls

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well it sounds like you really fucked up

  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...

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