sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
