I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
