I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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