I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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