she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
