ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
