You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
