SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
