ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
