K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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