So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
