Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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