It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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