Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
