I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
