Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
