i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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