Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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