I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
