i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
