Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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