Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
