You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
