I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
