david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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