shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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