I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
