i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What a dumb baby whore.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
