Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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