ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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