and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
