My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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