um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
