Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
