absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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