I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
