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Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
