She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Bring me that man meat
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
