he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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