btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
