Sry I called you an 8
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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