Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
