They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
